Summer's arrived, which means it's once again time to spread panic about mosquitoes carrying West Nile virus breeding in the swimming pools of abandoned and foreclosed properties (the clip above was posted to YouTube by Sacramento, Calif. TV station KCRA). These warnings usually originate with local mosquito control districts, and are not as far-fetched as they might sound (see previous post).

Image courtesy of The Onion

Seems like the housing market slump is affecting all segments of the market...

In a story published in the Onion today it seems there has been a nationwide slump in Creepy-Mansion sales. "Thousands of creepy mansions like these are tied up in Escrow or ancient blood curses," reports the publication.

"Two years ago, a four-bedroom with a triple homicide would ignite a bidding war among young couples desperate to get into what they naïvely thought would be their dream home," Trammel says. "We were handing out 30-year fixed rate [mortgages] with nothing down to anyone who was willing to ignore the spine-tingling whispers emanating from the basement. But since the market crashed, people don't even want to look inside."

Not all is doom and gloom however, the article reports some hope that the market might turn around.

He cites a new report from the National Association of Realtors that shows a marked increase in the number of new homes built atop ancients sites of unspeakable evil where the blood of innocents was shed upon an altar of stone.

I guess that's good news!

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A vendor at the National Association of Realtors' mid-year trade expo, which opened today, uses celebrity names to promote personalized nameplates and license plate frames.

The "Six Percent" -- a boat in Alameda, Calif.

We don't know whether this boat belongs to a real estate broker ...

Have you ever marvelled at those succinct little plot synopses in the TV listings page? They are particularly a hoot when the author has to tackle the long list of improbable events that comprise a single episode of a daytime soap opera. Here's my attempt at summarizing a little drama that played out on the Web today:

"When Carol makes fun of Kris and Steve's canned food drive, comparing the husband and wife team to Barbie and Ken, Jay calls Carol a fool, a hypocrite, and a disgrace to the real estate profession. Carol's boss Glenn fires her and apologizes to Kris but leaves the offending post for the world to see as proof of his passion for transparency."

Times may be tough for mortgage lenders, but originators with great sales chops -- or executives who control their company's purse strings -- may soon be talking their way aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise ship on their employer's dime.

The Mortgage Leader Cruise departs Miami on Feb. 22, with stops in San Juan, St. Thomas and St. Maarten.

Although a berth in the 387-square-foot grand suite with balcony will set you back $3,999 per person, you can justify the expense by pointing out the potential rewards for attending seminars like "Selling Higher Priced Products against Lower Priced Competition: Increase your sales and income immediately. Learn how to sell more, faster, easier, and at higher prices and profits – in any market!"

Given the number of lenders that went belly up making "exploding" ARM loans, you might decide not to mention another, unfortunately titled seminar when pitching the trip to your boss: "How to use the Web to Explode Your Business."

You would assume that the seminar "Save Money on Your Taxes – Big Time" will cover whether the cost of this cruise ship "conference" is tax deductible.

If $3,999 is too rich for your employer, a 317-square-foot junior suite with balcony is only $3,499 per person. If you don't mind slumming, the 214-square-foot "superior ocean view cabin" is $2,799 per person.

"Never before has there been a conference in which all of your speaker presentations, continuing education, food, entertainment and incredible excursions are included in the cost of the conference," the Web site for the cruise promises.

After all the bad press the company got when it planned to put 30 correspondent lenders up at a luxury ski resort near Vail this winter, I'm guessing the organizers aren't counting on Countrywide Financial reserving any berths.

The fact that the credit crunch is increasing the financing costs for the Mortgage Bankers Association's new 12-story headquarters in Washington D.C. has made the lobbying group an easy mark for pundits and comedians, although some have felt the need to embellish the story a bit.

The facts, according to an April 6 Washington Post story, are that the MBA is about to sign the papers to buy a new 12-story building at 1331 L Street NW for about $100 million. When the MBA announced the agreement to buy the 170,000 square foot building more than a year ago, it said it would occupy about one-third of it.

But the MBA faces a "triple whammy of woes," the Post reports: financing costs are up, the MBA's income is down, and a slow market for office space has left the group without any tenants. While interest rates on prime, fixed-rate home loans have fallen in recent months, rates on commercial loans are one to two percent higher than a year ago, and the MBA's down payment on the building has been increased by about 10 percent.

More significantly, perhaps, the MBA's membership has shrunk by about 17 percent from a year ago, from 3,000 member companies to around 2,500. The group has laid off an unspecified number of employees, the Post reports, also noting the departure of "two senior vice presidents to other jobs in the real estate industry" (that would be chief lobbyist Kurt Pfotenhauer to ALTA and chief economist Doug Duncan to Fannie Mae).

Although the facts as detailed in the Washington Post story aren't terribly funny, if you stretch them a little the Mortgage Bankers Association is an easy target.

Here's how the NPR quiz show, "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" played it over the weekend:

Host Peter Sagal: "Paula, The Mortgage Bankers Association in Washington D.C. is having a hard time these days doing what?"

Comedian Paula Poundstone: "Paying their mortgage?"

Sagal: "Exactly right. Finally some good news to come out of the housing market crisis. Or if not good news, at least satisfyingly sad news. The lobbying group for mortgage bankers is having trouble paying its own mortgage, after losing income and members last year. Due to chaos in the market and soaring interest rates the mortgage association is now finding it hard to refinance and secure tenants for its new building in Washington. So to avoid foreclosure, the association has moved back in with its parents."

Comedian Tom Bodett: "So who holds the mortgage on the Mortgage Bankers Association?"

Poundstone: "Probably the same company I went with, which is 'Don't ask, don't tell mortgage company.' I'm so ahead of the curve, I've gotta tell you. I lost my house years before it was the thing to do."

While comedians are allowed some leeway to stretch the facts, the MBA was not amused when CNBC's Diana Olick wrote that she was "sure there are plenty of troubled borrowers around the country who will do a bit more than chortle when they hear the story of how the Mortgage Bankers Association is having trouble paying the mortgage on its new building in downtown DC."

The MBA fired off an e-mail to Olick taking issue with the claim.

"It is simply not true," that the MBA is having trouble paying the mortgage, the group protested. "While MBA is seeing a drop in revenue (indicative of the state of the industry) and is responding with a reduction in expenses (as any responsible business would do) MBA’s financial situation remains rock solid, and will be even more so as a result of this purchase. Owning makes more financial sense than renting, especially in the District, which has one of the strongest commercial real estate markets in the country.”

If you're looking for office space on L Street, the building has its own Web site.

Taking inspiration from Athol Kay's "Bad MLS Photo of the Day" blog feature, I ran across an odd photo in the MLS today. (Imagine that!) This went beyond the usual close-up image of the property's front door, door-knocker, or horribly darkened hallway. This one was an image of a dog.... not a dog sitting in the living room of the property, or the backyard, or the kitchen, or the master bedroom, or the garage, or the bathroom.

No, this was just a close-up of a dog's face among about a dozen other photos of a listing that showed up in my email today.

I wonder if the dog knows he (or she) is being sold along with the property?

I would include the fluffy image here but it is copyrighted to the San Francisco MLS. You can see it on Redfin here.

Is it really that bad? Maybe this is the beginning of a new trend for buyer incentives.

Who says mortgage brokers don't have a creative side?

When Portland, Ore. real estate broker Jennifer Bukaty challenged Active Rain bloggers to a "Mortgage Creative Writing" contest she got a ton of entries -- many quite good. See the winners and a roundup of all the entries here.

To give you an idea of the level of competition, Walnut Creek, Calif. mortgage expert Mike Mueller cranked out a ton of mortgage-related haiku -- 17 poems in 10 days at the end of March -- landing mentions in the San Jose Mercury News and Redfin blog. For his efforts (see example at right), Mueller earned a "well-deserved" honorable mention in the contest.

The staff directory page at the Pacific West Association of Realtors shows that even typically drab Web pages with dozens of mug shots, names and titles can be fun ... and funny.

See if you can find something out of the ordinary when you peruse the management information systems staff at this site.